Pilates jokes

My friend says she can't justify spending money on a proper lunch.

She said it while booking her fourth reformer class of the week, which she calls "an investment in myself."

Before I got into Pilates, my wardrobe had red, green and navy in it.

Now it's all Oat Milk, Bone and Espresso. I wore navy to class once and three girls asked me if everything was okay at home.

How many Pilates princesses does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one, but she'll film it from three angles and post "arms literally SHAKING" to her Story.

My sister changed her bio from "travel lover" to "pilates

matcha | slow living" overnight.|The only place she travels now is the back corner reformer, and heaven help anyone already on it.

My wife sets a midnight alarm every Sunday to beat the waitlist for the 7am reformer class.

She remembered our anniversary the following Tuesday.

You know you're too deep into Pilates when the dentist tells you to relax.

And you automatically go navel to spine.

My friend owns 43 pairs of grip socks, including three limited drops she queued for.

Last winter her feet got cold in bed, and she had to borrow normal socks from me.

My friend says HIIT is "just too much cortisol for me right now."

She said it while sprinting across the car park so nobody would take her reformer.

I asked my friend to explain the difference between neutral spine and imprint.

She spoke with total confidence for ten minutes, then quietly googled it in the changing room.

My husband agreed to the at home reformer as long as I promised to use it every single day.

And I do. Every morning I take my jeans off it.

Why did the Lagree girl get uninvited from brunch?

She said the Megaformer is "NOT Pilates, it's harder" and managed to offend the whole table, including the waiter.

Rules of the post class matcha: grip socks off, Sambas on, matching set stays on.

And if anyone in the café can tell you've just exercised, you did it wrong.