CrossFit jokes

You know someone's obsessed with CrossFit when they bring a pocket scale to weigh their chicken at restaurants.

The waiter asked if they needed anything else, and they requested the macros for the garnish.

Why do CrossFitters make terrible wedding guests?

They keep trying to turn the reception into an AMRAP.

A CrossFitter's wife asked him to pick up groceries after his WOD. He came back with protein powder, almond butter, and sweet potatoes.

When she asked where the rest was, he said "That's everything on my macro spreadsheet for the week."

CrossFitters don't go on holiday.

They go on "drop-in gym reconnaissance missions with occasional sightseeing."

What's the difference between a CrossFitter's garage and a car showroom?

The garage costs more and has better equipment.

How many CrossFitters does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one, but they'll film it in slow-motion, post it asking for form critiques, and somehow turn it into a 20-minute EMOM.

CrossFitter rule #47: When someone mentions they work out

You have exactly 3.2 seconds to ask "Have you tried CrossFit?" before the conversation becomes about literally anything else.

Why do CrossFitters wear knee-high socks to the grocery store?

You never know when you might need to deadlift a watermelon Rx'd.

What do you call someone who owns fifteen pairs of Reebok Nanos in different colours?

A CrossFitter with commitment issues.

CrossFitters don't have conversations, they have post-WOD debriefs.

"How was your day?" becomes a twenty-minute analysis of their thruster technique.

My friend brings tupperware of sweet potato and chicken to every dinner party.

She says she's not judging our food choices, but she photographs her meals like evidence.

CrossFitters don't shop for clothes, they curate their compression gear collection.

Apparently cotton is "for people who don't take recovery seriously."