Karaoke jokes

My mate who does karaoke asked me to rate his performance from 1 to 10.

I said "8" and he pulled out a spreadsheet to log it next to the other 47 reviews.

My friend claims he's "not that serious" about karaoke, but last week I caught him practicing his signature song's crowd work in the mirror.

He said he was just "maintaining rotation respect" by staying sharp.

People who do karaoke have two types of friends.

Those who also do karaoke, and those who avoid their calls on Thursday nights.

My karaoke-loving friend bought a professional microphone for dive bar nights.

It cost more than his car, but at least now everyone can hear him butcher "Don't Stop Believin'" in crystal clear audio.

Karaoke singers don't go on holiday.

They go on "karaoke scene research trips" to experience different venues' sound systems.

My mate joined a karaoke group and now speaks fluent jargon.

He asked if I wanted to "crowd work" during his "rotation" and I thought he was offering me a job.

You're not a real karaoke enthusiast unless you've brought costume changes to a Tuesday night at the local pub.

Bonus points if you've got backup props in your car.

Before I started doing karaoke, I thought "going off-book" was about libraries.

Now I know it means my mate thinks he's too good for the lyrics screen.

People who do karaoke measure time differently.

"Just one more song" translates to "see you at closing time."

My karaoke friend's biggest fear isn't forgetting lyrics.

It's someone else signing up for "their" song before they get to the machine.

Before I started karaoke, I thought having a signature song meant you liked it a lot.

Now I have a laminated backup list in case someone tries song blocking my 'Don't Stop Believin'.'

How many karaoke singers does it take to choose the next song?

Just one, but they'll spend twenty minutes cross-referencing their spreadsheet of previous performances to avoid repeating anything from the last six months.