Drone jokes

My mate swears he's "not really that into" drone flying.

He checks the wind speed, the Kp index and his satellite count before he takes the dog out.

Rule #1 of FPV: Never say "send it" unless you've already packed the spare props.

Actually, just never say it. The quad can hear you.

My nan overheard me saying I was hitting the bando this weekend with three lads and twelve packs.

She's lit a candle for me at church.

Why do you need new goggles? You bought some in March. "The new ones have eight milliseconds less latency." What could you possibly do with eight milliseconds?

"Miss the tree, for once."

FPV pilots buy props in packs of forty.

Not because it's cheaper. Because the park has forty trees.

My cousin asked for "a quick drone shot" at his own wedding.

Seven minutes later, the bride was still waving at the sky and the vicar had started on the next couple.

You're not a real FPV pilot until you've spent forty hours tuning PIDs for a three minute flight.

And you're not a real FPV pilot's partner until you've pretended you can see the propwash.

I don't mind crashing upside down in front of the whole club.

It's having to use turtle mode that makes me want to crawl into my shell.

Our club bans three topics at the pub: politics, religion and ExpressLRS versus Crossfire.

The first two were only added later, to calm things down.

He stores his LiPos in a fireproof bag, inside an ammo can, inside a cinderblock bunker.

His passport lives in the kitchen drawer with the takeaway menus.

Never ask a drone pilot if his drone can see into your window.

Ten minutes later you'll know more about field of view than your optician.

FPV pilots call Mavics "flying tripods."

Mavic owners call FPV quads "flying insurance claims."