Board Game jokes

My mate said his new game was "really simple" and took forty five minutes to explain it.

Then he won by sixty points and said, "See? You pick it up as you play."

I told a board gamer I really enjoy Catan.

He smiled at me the way a doctor smiles right before saying, "Let's run a few more tests."

How many board gamers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one, but first he has to log it on BG Stats with the player count, duration and location.

My wife asked why I own more games than we have friends to play them with.

So I bought the solo mode expansion.

A Euro gamer told me the best games have no player interaction at all.

Which explains why he describes every party he's ever been to as "elegant."

My friend once spent eleven minutes deciding between one wood and one stone.

Then he looked up and asked, "Wait, what did everyone else just do?" We'd finished two other games.

Board gamers are basically a cult.

They have robes (Meeple shirts), a pilgrimage (Essen), sacred texts (the errata) and a shrine. They call it a Kallax.

My mate complained that Friday night games at the shop "only" went until 1 a.m.

He'd been there since four. The staff had gone home and locked him in.

My friend kept telling me my best move during a cooperative game.

I said, "Stop quarterbacking. If I'm going to lose, I want it to be my own fault."

Things a rules lawyer brings to game night: 1) The rulebook. 2) The FAQ. 3) The errata PDF. 4) A bookmarked BGG thread.

5) No friends. The last ones are still waiting to find out if "adjacent" includes diagonals.

Euro fans call dice games "luck fests." Ameritrash fans call Euros "multiplayer solitaire about cubes."

Party gamers call both of them "the reason we left at nine."

My friend bought a gaming table with a recessed vault, cup holders and a felt surface.

We still play on the kitchen table, because the gaming table is covered in unplayed games.