Backpacking jokes

Rule #1 of hostel life: you will be asked "Where are you from? How long are you travelling? Where have you been? Where next?"

Rule #2: after a month, just print the answers on a T-shirt and point.

My friend haggled for twenty minutes to save a few coins on a pair of elephant pants.

Then she celebrated by spending forty times that on a smoothie bowl in a café where the chairs are swings.

What's the difference between a traveller and a tourist?

About three weeks and a string bracelet.

"I went to Thailand last year." "Oh, I went before it was ruined." "When was that?"

"Eighteen months ago. They'd only just put in the wifi. Tragic."

My grandma asked my cousin what she got up to in Vietnam. She said, "I did Vietnam in two weeks."

Grandma asked if the country had filed a complaint.

You know someone's been backpacking too long when they walk into a friend's house

and immediately hold their phone up to the window and announce, "Two bars by the toilet, everyone."

Before backpacking, I folded my clothes. Then I watched one packing video.

Now I roll everything into tiny sausages and keep packing cubes inside packing cubes, like a Russian doll made of socks.

My mate left home in 2016 "just for a few months." He now teaches English part time and does "a bit of remote work."

His mum has stopped asking when he's coming home and started asking which time zone to post his birthday card to.

Backpackers never brag about their country count.

They just make sure the scratch map is clearly visible behind them on every video call.

My friend's country count is forty seven if you include a layover in Dubai and a toilet stop in Liechtenstein.

And Wales, which he counts again every time he drives over the bridge.

Backpacker logic: take the 22 hour "VIP" sleeper bus to save money on a flight.

Then book two nights in a private room with air conditioning to recover from the bus.

How do you spot the hostel guitar guy?

It's 1am, everyone's trying to sleep, and someone is playing "Wonderwall" in their fourteenth country in a row.