From 100 Funny Jokes About Lawyers

Lawyer jokes

12 of our favourite jokes about lawyers. Adult, cheeky and written by people who know exactly how much lawyers talk about it.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?
The lawyer charges more.
Knock, knock.
Who's there? Will. Will who? Will you please stop objecting to everything I say?
Why don't lawyers trust stairs?
They're always up to something.
What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?
The pronunciation.
Why do they bury lawyers 12 feet deep?
Because deep down, they're really good people.
Why are lawyers like movie directors?
They're always looking for a new angle.

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How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb?
It only takes one, but they'll bill you for three.
Why did the blonde lawyer bring a ladder to court?
She wanted to reach a higher settlement.
Doctor, doctor, my lawyer has a bad case of the hiccups!
Just tell him he's about to lose a case, that should scare them away!
I told my lawyer I couldn't afford his fees
So he offered me a discounted rate - now he only charges an arm.
I once knew a lawyer who was so good
He could convince a jury that the Earth was flat.
There once was a lawyer named Dwight
Who'd argue and fuss, day and night His clients all cheered When the verdicts were cleared And he'd toast to his wins with delight

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