From 100 Funny Jokes About Accountants

Accountant jokes

12 of our favourite jokes about accountants. Adult, cheeky and written by people who know exactly how much accountants talk about it.

What does an accountant resort to when constipated?
They work it out with a pencil.
How does an accountant spice up a party?
By adding tax and subtracting fun!
Why did the accountant break up with his girlfriend?
He found her to be too taxing.
What's an accountant's wife's insomnia remedy?
"Honey, tell me more about your day at work."
How do you describe an accountant?
Someone who finds solutions to problems you didn't even know existed in ways you'll never grasp.
Why do senior accountants never meet their end?
They just can't keep their balance!

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Why were economists brought into existence by God?
To give accountants someone to chuckle at.
What's an accountant's chosen method for birth control?
Their winning personality.
What sets an accountant and a lawyer apart?
The accountant is well aware of their dullness.
What does an accountant say when asked for the time?
"It's 9:18 am and 12 seconds...no, hold on, 13 seconds...wait, 14 seconds..."
Why was the accountant thrilled to finish a jigsaw puzzle in 59 weeks?
Because the box labeled it as an 8-12 year project.
What's the disparity between a sperm and an accountant?
The sperm has a 1 in 250,000 shot at becoming human.

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