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Cover of 100 Funny Jokes About Cold Plungers, a funny gift book for cold plungers

The funny gift for cold plungers

100 Funny Jokes About Cold Plungers

For the friend who says '39 degrees this morning' before hello: 100 jokes about ice baths, afterdrop and Dryrobes. Perfect Christmas gift.

  • 100 original jokes about Cold Plungers
  • Perfect for Cold Plungers enthusiasts of all ages
  • Great conversation starter and gift idea
  • Professionally written comedy content

Paperback · £9.99 on Amazon UK · $10.99 on Amazon US

Buy on Amazon UKBuy on Amazon US

A taste of what's inside

6 of the 100 jokes. The rest are in the book.

You know someone's addicted to cold plunging when they start rating hotel showers by how cold the water gets.

"Two stars - pathetic 65-degree maximum, wouldn't even activate my brown fat."

Rule #1 of cold plunge dating: Never mention hormesis before the third date.

Rule #2: There probably won't be a third date.

How many cold plungers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but they'll spend twenty minutes explaining how the cold improves their mitochondrial efficiency for the task.

The cold plunge community has more gatekeeping than an exclusive country club.

"Oh, you only do three minutes? That's cute, call me when you're actually cold adapted."

You can spot a cold plunge evangelist at parties by their opening line.

"Have you tried cold exposure?" - it's like "How's the weather?" but with more hypothermia.

You know cold plunging has taken over someone's life when they host "plunge parties."

Nothing breaks the ice like peer-pressuring guests into literal ice.

Get all 100 jokesMore cold plunge jokes →

About this book

The ultimate gift for Cold Plungers enthusiasts! This hilarious collection of 100 original jokes will have them laughing out loud. Perfect for birthdays, Christmas, or just because. A must-have for anyone who loves Cold Plungers and has a great sense of humour.

A funny gift for cold plungers

Buying for someone who lives and breathes cold plungers? They probably own all the kit already. This book gives them something they cannot buy for themselves: 100 jokes that prove you have been listening to every story about it.

It works as a birthday present, a Christmas stocking filler, a Secret Santa gift or a just-because laugh. Amazon prints and ships it, so you can send it straight to them.

Looking for more ideas? See our Funny Gifts for Gym Lovers and Fitness Fanatics, Funny Gifts for Outdoor Lovers and Adventurers and Funny Gifts for Swimmers, Paddleboarders and Water Lovers, or browse Christmas stocking fillers.

Who this book is for

This book is for the person who tells you the water temperature before they've even said good morning ("four degrees today, actually") and quietly regards anyone dipping at ten degrees as a tourist. Perhaps they're the 5:30am discipline type, dryrobe over shorts, mouth tape still on from the night before, delaying their coffee by 90 minutes "for adenosine reasons". Or perhaps they log water temperature, HRV, sleep score and "mood delta" in a spreadsheet after every plunge and hold surprisingly strong views on brown fat. If you've been woken by loud, rhythmic breathwork coming from the bathroom, watched your partner refuse a towel because they must "end on cold", or seen them check the hotel ice machine before they've even unpacked, this is your chance to hit back. It's the perfect gift for partners, friends and family who love their plunger dearly but have heard more than enough about the sacred eleven minutes a week. Hand it over on New Year's Day, just before they sprint into the sea. And if you're the plunger yourself, you're very welcome here. If you've kept your streak alive through a bout of flu, trimmed the scream off your "calm entry" video before posting it, or sloshed coffee down your front during afterdrop while insisting you've never felt better, you'll find plenty of yourself in these pages. Read it somewhere warm, or, if you must, sitting on the jetty in skins, shivering with pride.

Questions about this book

Expect affectionate, self-aware humour that pokes fun at the rituals and obsessions of cold plunging, from the ten-minute stand-off beside the tub to the first 30 seconds spent negotiating with God. There are gags about the gasp, the afterdrop that leaves you unable to hold your coffee, and the plunger who cannot help announcing the water temperature, their duration and their dopamine percentage to anyone within earshot. It is cheeky rather than cruel, written by people who clearly know how cold the water really is.
Absolutely. It makes a brilliant birthday, Christmas or Secret Santa present for the friend who swims in skins all winter, the colleague who will not stop talking about their morning dip, or the partner whose £9,000 plunge tub has quietly become the party beer cooler. It is also a perfect peace offering from bemused family members who are fairly sure their loved one has joined a cult.
Not at all. Most of the jokes land with anyone who has ever hesitated before a cold shower or been cornered by an enthusiast at a dinner party. Seasoned plungers will, however, enjoy plenty of insider references to things like the Søberg Principle, the strict 'end on cold' rule and the quiet pride of getting your breath under control.
Rather than recycling generic one-liners with the word 'cold' shoehorned in, every joke is built from genuine community truths, such as the universal fact that nobody ever wants to get in, whether it is day one or day one thousand. It speaks the language of the cold water crowd, from skins purists to afterdrop sufferers, so readers will recognise themselves and their fellow plungers on nearly every page.

Ready to roast them?

100 jokes, one very recognisable victim. Printed and shipped by Amazon.

Buy on Amazon UK · £9.99Buy on Amazon US · $10.99