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Cover of 100 Funny Jokes About Chefs, a funny gift book for chefs

The funny gift for chefs

100 Funny Jokes About Chefs

From labelling leftovers to shouting 'Behind!' in Tesco, here are 100 jokes every chef will swear are true. The perfect gift. Yes, Chef!

  • 100 original jokes about Chefs
  • Perfect for Chefs enthusiasts of all ages
  • Great conversation starter and gift idea
  • Professionally written comedy content

Paperback · £6.99 on Amazon UK · $7.99 on Amazon US

Buy on Amazon UKBuy on Amazon US

A taste of what's inside

6 of the 100 jokes. The rest are in the book.

Why did the chef break up with the vegetable?

He said, "I love you, but I need more thyme."

Knock, knock.

"Who’s there?" "Lettuce." "Lettuce who?" "Lettuce in, the chef said we're the main ingredient!"

I asked the chef for his secret ingredient.

In prison, they don't make you pay to do hard labor.

Ever notice how a chef's recipe says 'serves 6'?

But your appetite says 'serves 1'?

I tried to impress someone by saying I'm a chef.

CrossFitters are like snowflakes: unique, beautiful, and sometimes they melt under pressure.

A chef told me he’d make me something to die for.

Turns out it was just really, really undercooked chicken.

Get all 100 jokesMore chef jokes →

About this book

The ultimate gift for Chefs enthusiasts! This hilarious collection of 100 original jokes will have them laughing out loud. Perfect for birthdays, Christmas, or just because. A must-have for anyone who loves Chefs and has a great sense of humour.

A funny gift for chefs

Buying for someone who lives and breathes chefs? They probably own all the kit already. This book gives them something they cannot buy for themselves: 100 jokes that prove you have been listening to every story about it.

It works as a birthday present, a Christmas stocking filler, a Secret Santa gift or a just-because laugh. Amazon prints and ships it, so you can send it straight to them.

Looking for more ideas? See our Funny Gifts for Foodies, Bakers and Coffee Lovers and Funny Gifts for Colleagues: Joke Books by Profession, or browse Christmas stocking fillers.

Who this book is for

This book is for the chef who labels and dates everything in the home fridge with blue painter's tape and a Sharpie, including the lasagne that will be gone within the hour. It's for the one who shouts 'Behind!' and 'Hot!' while squeezing past strangers at parties, salts everything from a great height with a dramatic pinch, and treats any recipe that measures salt in teaspoons with open suspicion. If they've ever wiped a plate rim at a family dinner, survived a fourteen-hour shift on espresso and a single smoke break, or sworn on Sunday night that they're quitting the industry, only to be back on the line by Tuesday morning, they belong here. Perhaps you're the partner who has watched them reorganise your friends' kitchens into a proper mise en place setup, or the mate who can no longer enjoy a meal out because they keep announcing that the sauce has broken and the risotto is under-seasoned. Maybe you're the parent who still doesn't understand why they ordered the strangest offal dish on the menu and somehow knew the waiting staff by name before pudding arrived. Either way, this is your chance to answer every 'Yes, Chef!' with a gift that gently, lovingly takes the mickey. And if you're the chef yourself, the one who has hidden in the walk-in to scream, been well and truly in the weeds on a Saturday night, and judged a friend for cutting on a glass board, then heard, this one's for you. Grab it at family meal, read it between tickets, and laugh at yourself before your sous chef does. Just don't let it die on the pass.

Questions about this book

Expect quick one-liners, puns and observational gags drawn straight from life behind the pass, from being in the weeds on a Saturday night to the walk-in doubling as a private screaming room. There are plenty of jokes about the great irony of the trade, such as cooking flawless tasting menus for hundreds of strangers before going home to eat cereal over the sink at 1am. It is affectionate, a little cheeky and full of the gallows humour every kitchen runs on.
Absolutely. It makes a brilliant birthday, Christmas or Secret Santa present for chefs, line cooks, culinary students and anyone who has survived a double shift on a bank holiday. It is also a thoughtful gift from partners and family members who have learnt that Monday is their chef's Saturday and want to show they finally understand the lifestyle.
Not at all, as most of the humour lands with anyone who has ever cooked a meal, eaten out or worked an exhausting job. Industry insiders will spot plenty of extra in-jokes about '86'd' dishes, plates dying on the pass and getting crushed during service. Newcomers will still laugh along and might even pick up some kitchen slang, so they can shout 'Heard!' with confidence.
Rather than recycling tired 'waiter, there's a fly in my soup' gags, this collection is built around the real culture of professional kitchens. It celebrates the misfit kitchen family bonded by burns, cuts and post-shift pints at the industry bar, the sacred ritual of family meal and the impossibility of dating anyone with normal weekends. It reads as though it was written by someone who has actually stood on the line, which is why chefs recognise themselves on every page.

Ready to roast them?

100 jokes, one very recognisable victim. Printed and shipped by Amazon.

Buy on Amazon UK · £6.99Buy on Amazon US · $7.99