100 Funny Jokes About Bird Watchers

This book is for the person whose wardrobe is entirely beige, olive and khaki, who owns a vest with more pockets than they could ever need, and who wears their binoculars on a harness because neck straps are for amateurs. It is for anyone who has spent a summer holiday at a sewage treatment works and called it an excellent spot, or who knows their life list number to the exact digit and will tell you it without being asked. If they keep a separate list for birds seen from the bathroom window, you have found the right recipient. Perhaps you are the long-suffering partner who has been woken at 2am because a lost warbler turned up 300 miles away, or the passenger who nearly went through the windscreen when they slammed on the brakes for 'something interesting' on a fence post. Maybe you are the friend who has stood mortified while they made 'pssh-pssh-pssh' noises at a hedge in a public car park. This book is your chance to get your own back, affectionately, of course. It also makes the ideal gift for the family member whose mood for the entire week depends on whether a bird 'stuck around', and who still speaks of the Siberian Rubythroat they dipped by twenty minutes with genuine grief. Hand it over and watch them laugh, then pretend they have no idea which jokes are about them. And if you are a birder yourself, go on, admit it. You have refreshed the rare bird alerts before getting out of bed, agonised over whether a 'heard only' counts, and silently judged someone for turning up to a group walk in a bright red coat. You know exactly what jizz means and have had to explain it awkwardly to a non-birder. If you can laugh at your nemesis bird, the big-lens brigade and the occasional stringer, this book was written for you.